#Im just setting up an even grander failure
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#I feel like ass#I have so little money and so much to do#and mom keeps telling me to stay postiive but I have this feeling that Im gonna fail#fuck that 'you attract what you think' bs if I tank my presetnation and they decide not to give me my diploma it will happen#regardless of my fucking mood#and I have another job interview#and I dont want to blow it but I just KNOW Im gonna ruin it again#I mn ever gonna graduate or get a job#Im just setting up an even grander failure#I also feel inept and stupid and stuck in my art#I cant even art anymore lmao#burnout reallly hurt me and Im never gonna recover from it#it's like. I cut off some of my fingers#and while the wounds are healed my hand will never be the same#i just dont have the capacity to do what I used to do anymore#my 100% now is like 40% of what 100% used to be for me#I'm not gonna get better#and that'sn ot something I'm open to discuss btw#trying to tell me Im gonna get back t onormal is actually super cruel#its not going to happen this is normal now#thats what happens when you push your brain so far beyond its limits
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im not gonna argue with anonymous users on hatchs blog again but “well the bad ending in mtmte was unsatisfying and megatron getting executed didnt fix anything” oh my god thats the fucking point. thats the POOOOOIIIIIIINT. the way the narrative is set up you are supposed to hate megatron and wholeheartedly side with our cast by saying he deserved the death penalty and is cheating his way out of it like a scum bag, and then over the course of the story grow to understand who he is and how he got here, and watch him slowly change his ways both interpersonally (primarily thru his relationships with characters like ultra magnus) and on a grander scale (the functionist... stuff.) so that when he is either imprisoned or executed you, along with the main cast, begin to doubt if this is the right thing to do. the characters arguing for megatrons execution are right where the reader was when he was introduced to the series, they didnt get to see his arc play out, he’s still just megatron to them and he should face the same justice he ran from before. but we know that if he’d been executed in the first place, things would be a lot worse, so you’re supposed to doubt if this is really justice or if its really the right answer. thats why he gets off scott free in the good ending, its juxtaposing the posibility of future good against an idealized version of justice. its not supposed to “fix” anything, its designed to make you doubt that this kind of justice is even a solution!! like i dont think jro handled all of these topics in the best ways or even well, like ive talked at length about the failures of his writing vis a vis megatron but like. from a narrative standpoint this is what its telling you, these are what its pointing at, thats WHY rodimus gives the “im not sure if you deserve” it speech to parallel his earlier one. thats WHY the embodiment of justice character decides to abandon the literal representation of his past ideals. its literally telling you “this isnt right”.
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Lost metropolitans# 7: how Nasa technology disclosed the ‘megacity’ of Angkor
Recent laser canvas have discovered marks of a enormous urban village, comparable in width to Los Angeles, all over the temples of Angkor in the Cambodian jungle. The ancient Khmer capital was never lost it just got a bit overgrown
Clusters of gigantic stone pine cones poke above the dense forest canopy in Cambodia, looks a lot like ancient rocket ships poised for take-off, their peculiar silhouettes reflected in the mirror-calm moat below. Tree root tentacles prowl along crumbling cornices, gale their behavior around doorway frames and strangling the serene stone faces of smiling god-kings, oblivious to the fact that their territory has long succumbed to the natural world.
When youre exploring the enigmatic synagogues of Angkor, together with the two million other tourists who come here each year, it can still feel like youre uncovering this lost domain for the first time. Whats more difficult to dream as you stray between the spoilt areas, each set apart in the extents of the jungle, is that these statues were once part of the largest, most sprawling metropoli on the planet.
Its a hunch that archaeologists have had for decades, but which was only recently confirmed in astonishing detail by an aerial laser questionnaire, which cut through the foliage for the first time a few years ago to expose the grid of a enormous urban accommodation straining for miles around the moated complexes. It showed that the ancient Khmer capital, which prospered from the ninth to 15 th centuries, had more in common with Los Angeles than this sequence of temples standing in splendid isolation in the jungle might suggest.
The laser technology has been a total game-changer, remarks Damian Evans, the Australian archaeologist “whos been” guiding the airborne scanning investigation at the cole Franaise dExtrme-Orient, working with Cambodian APSARA National Authority and the Ministry of Culture and Fine Arts. Our examines have revealed the characteristics of a settlement comparable in length to LA or Sydney, with an city figure that resembles the kind of scattered low-density megacity characteristic of the modern world.
Lidar technology uncovered a system of canals and roads that connected the Angkor temple complex. Photo: Damian Evans/ Cambodian Archaeological Lidar Initiative
For centuries, explorations of Angkor had been preoccupied with the temple compounds themselves, focusing on the religious symbolism of such structures and the cosmological natures depicted in their intricate bas reliefs. And its not hard to see why.
Grander than anything turn left us by Greece or Rome, was the judgement of young French explorer Henri Mouhot, when he first stumbled across Angkor Wat in 1858, a complex he described as a rival to[ the temple] of Solomon, erected by some ancient Michelangelo. This central temple alone, built by King Suryavarman II in the early 12 th century, remains the largest religion complex in the world, four times larger than Vatican City, five specific conical towers rising above a 160 -hectare precinct.
As the only enduring organizes in the following areas, it was assumed that the synagogues must have operated like medieval walled towns, each inhabited by staff of a few thousand people. Perhaps “theyve been” has been established by consecutive tycoons, as the royal family and their entourage moved from one complex to the next, leaving a series of detached cities flecked across the plateau, each frontier by a defensive moat.
The tabernacle of Banteay Top Lidar discovered details of additional tabernacle websites and occupation areas in the vicinity of this tabernacle. Photograph: Damian Evans
The reality, it turns out, was nothing of the sorting. The laser examinations, conducted in 2012 and 2015, been demonstrated that these sacred walled precincts didnt contain much at all. They were instead surrounded by a sprawling city network, a grid of boulevards, streets and canals that provided far into the circumventing landscape, including an area larger than modern-day Paris. What archaeologists had been studying for generations was simply the equivalent of a European city with everything mopped away except for the churches and cathedrals.
At its meridian in the 12 th century, when London had a population of 18,000, Angkor was home to hundreds of thousands, some reckon up to three-quarters of a million people. So what form did this megacity in the rice fields take?
Im reluctant to use the word city, supposes Evans. Angkor doesnt follow the usual decoration of an ancient walled metropoli with a clearly defined border. Instead, we detected a exceedingly densely populated downtown city core, considering a zone of 35 -4 0 sq km, which gradually presents mode to a kind of agro-urban hinterland. It slowly terminates into a macrocosm of vicinity shrines, mixed up with rice fields, sell plots and ponds. It was the prototype of modern-day suburban sprawl.
Angkor locator delineate
Thanks to technology developed by Nasa, all of this could be gleaned from a few hours of helicopter flight, as opposed to generations of hacking through the undergrowth with machetes( while keeping a watchman for landmines ). Shooting a million laser beams every four seconds from the bottom of a helicopter, the lidar technology( which stands for light likeness sensing and ranging) permits a kind of virtual deforestation to take place, stripping away the tree canopy to discover what lies beneath on the forest floor.
The observes were a revealing. The scanning disclosed a topography inscribed with a precise system of furrows and knolls, the bones of the city inscribed into the landscape.
On the floor you just see lumps and bumps, articulates Evans, but this aerial view establishes a very sophisticated organisation of road networks, schemed neighbourhoods and intricate waterworks. Angkor was a job of geoengineering on an unparalleled scale.
Any evidence of these neighborhoods on the field has long since decomposed away. In Khmer society, stone was reserved exclusively for religious mausoleums, well-developed of great bricks swum here from quarries 30 miles away along specially dug canals( as the wider laser survey disclosed last year ). Everything else even the royal palaces was make use of grove and thatch, with residences invoked up on stilts on top of earthen hammocks, designed to keep them above the floodwaters in the rainy season.
Digital terrain simulation of Preah Khan of Kompong Svay, east of Angkor. Photograph: Damian Evans/ Cambodian Archaeological Lidar Initiative
The Khmers mastery over the natural landscape was perhaps their greatest achievement, and the lidar mapping has disclosed complex levels of terraforming and liquid management systems that were way ahead of any other settlement of the era.
Once again, earlier archaeological subjects focused on the symbolic capacity of liquid in Angkors cosmological order, reading the vast pool as representations of the mythological oceans circumventing Mount Meru, residence of the Hindu deities. While the watercourses undoubtedly played a part in the sacred geography of the city, they were fundamentally there to irrigate the rice fields, different sources of the territories enormous abundance. Success in a tropical climate eventually depended on the ability to mitigate submerge during the summer monsoon and supermarket enough sea to irrigate the fields during dry season something the Khmer lords is clear that there mastered.
Residential regions were arranged around thousands of communal rainfall ponds, while the fields were irrigated by a pair of enormous pools, or barays, the whole structure connected via an extensive network of canals and paths. The West Baray, which strains five miles by one mile to the west of downtown Angkor, remains the largest hand-cut body of water on globe. Contained by tall earthen dikes, it stands as the steeple of the Khmer ability to harness the landscape for its own ends.
Two laser sketches divulged suburban sprawl in Angkor. Photograph: Damian Evans/ Journal of Archaeological Science
But this hydrological virtuosity, Evans and his crew now imagine, might also have been at the root of Angkors undoing, molting new light on the ultimate ground for this magnificent metropolitan decline.
Archaeologists have long theorized on why the Khmer capital descended into ruining. One theory is that the city was sacked by a Siamese invasion in 1431, inducing the lords and their people to abscond en masse to an arena near present-day Phnom Penh. But there is little evidence of the type of settlements indicative of a mass movement.
Others argue that transition periods from Hinduism to more placid Buddhism, following the predominate of Jayavarman VII, sapped the Angkorian civilisation of its crusade mongering, monument-building verve. Yet that conveniently rejects the murderous stretches of other Buddhist rulers elsewhere in the world at the time. Another tenuous prompting is that the Khmer wearied themselves with all the building assignments and finally collapsed from headstone fatigue.
Evans, however , now am of the opinion that environmental parts played a significant part. Searching at the sedimentary evidences, there is evidence of disastrous flooding, he announces. In the expansion of Angkor, they had destroyed all of the groves in the watershed, and we have seen failures in the water system, discovering that various parts of the network simply are broken down. With the entire feudal hierarchy reliant on the successful management of irrigate, a break in the series could have been enough to motivates a gradual decline.
While it might be seducing to dwell on the colourful vision of a mass exodus, Evans is keen to emphasise that there was no stunning downfall at all. There is a lot of exhibit for continued vigour in Angkor, he replies. When Portuguese brokers inspected in the 16 th century, and French adventurers came here in the 19 th century, they encountered the societies of several thousand people living in and around the synagogues. It might have disappeared from the awareness of Europeans for a meter, he lends, but Angkor was never a lost metropoli. It just got a bit overgrown.
Please share your storeys of other lost cities throughout history in specific comments below. F ollow Guardian Cities on Twitter and Facebook to join in the discussion
Read more: www.theguardian.com
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